You ever wonder....
May. 6th, 2002 01:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lwoodblooIf you're doing something too much?
I role play once, sometimes twice a week. I see people I like, doing something I want to do. My family sees this as a total waste of time, and I have gotten the ultimate in cautionaries from my father, who rarely will step in and say anything, has sat me down and basically told me I'm wasting my life, and what do I plan to do about it. It's hard to knock yourself out of a complacency. I make good money doing something very easy. I have good friends who I like spending time with, and it's very very easy to put off the people in your life who are telling you "Do more." To be honest, there are days where I'm very pleased to leave things as they are. And there are other days where i just want to scream yell and pull my hair out, I'm so fuhucking bored. And I start to plan to change things on those days and then a nice lazy complacent day comes and I drop it. Like, i should start seeing someone about my state of mind. I'm not suicidally depressed, but god I do have some issues to work out. And so, I have the telephone numbers of three good therapists in my area. And I want to go see one. At the very least to talk and work some shit out. But I always feel better. And then I feel worse. Gah. And I need to go meet some new people. Every time I go to a show, I meet someone....but she's usually seeing someone. I'm so afraid to fail, sometimes I fail to try. That has to stop really soon. Try tomorrow.
I role play once, sometimes twice a week. I see people I like, doing something I want to do. My family sees this as a total waste of time, and I have gotten the ultimate in cautionaries from my father, who rarely will step in and say anything, has sat me down and basically told me I'm wasting my life, and what do I plan to do about it. It's hard to knock yourself out of a complacency. I make good money doing something very easy. I have good friends who I like spending time with, and it's very very easy to put off the people in your life who are telling you "Do more." To be honest, there are days where I'm very pleased to leave things as they are. And there are other days where i just want to scream yell and pull my hair out, I'm so fuhucking bored. And I start to plan to change things on those days and then a nice lazy complacent day comes and I drop it. Like, i should start seeing someone about my state of mind. I'm not suicidally depressed, but god I do have some issues to work out. And so, I have the telephone numbers of three good therapists in my area. And I want to go see one. At the very least to talk and work some shit out. But I always feel better. And then I feel worse. Gah. And I need to go meet some new people. Every time I go to a show, I meet someone....but she's usually seeing someone. I'm so afraid to fail, sometimes I fail to try. That has to stop really soon. Try tomorrow.
