(no subject)
Mar. 12th, 2003 12:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lwoodblooThere's a song off the newest Dictators album called "Moronic Inferno". I feel like that today, this idiot elemental force that destroys everything in its path.
I like being the recipient of little personal notes in my friends' journals. It's kinda like Rob in High Fidelity, who wanted to date a musician so he could be sublty referred to in the liner notes.
I don't feel real worthy of these positive emotions from people lately. Maybe it's just this general malaise from today. Got an email I didn't really want, but it was like taking some robitussin. Call it spiritual expectorant. I'm not going to reply. I don't think I need or want to; I don't think I can or will persuade the writer that they're wrong, well...not wrong so much as mistaken. I remember while I was working at Kaplan, I met this girl, her name was Gein. Gein and I really hit it off. We talked, laughed, really enjoyed ourselves. She gave me her number, I called, we chatted more, I asked her out, she said yes, call me back with details. I did. No response. Called again. No response. Finally got her on the line, and I asked her why she didn't return my call. She accused me of leaving a fairly obscene message on her voice mail. I pleaded with her, told her I didn't do it. Did a fairly good job, I thought. Then I realized....it didn't matter what I said or did, just then. There would be a lingering feeling of anger and fear, and there was nothing I could do to get rid of the aroma.
That's how I feel about this other thing. Whatever I did/didn't do, there's nothing I can do to get rid of those lingering feelings about how what I did is perceived. And, if I'm right and this is so....I dunno.
End of sermon. Enjoy your evening.
I like being the recipient of little personal notes in my friends' journals. It's kinda like Rob in High Fidelity, who wanted to date a musician so he could be sublty referred to in the liner notes.
I don't feel real worthy of these positive emotions from people lately. Maybe it's just this general malaise from today. Got an email I didn't really want, but it was like taking some robitussin. Call it spiritual expectorant. I'm not going to reply. I don't think I need or want to; I don't think I can or will persuade the writer that they're wrong, well...not wrong so much as mistaken. I remember while I was working at Kaplan, I met this girl, her name was Gein. Gein and I really hit it off. We talked, laughed, really enjoyed ourselves. She gave me her number, I called, we chatted more, I asked her out, she said yes, call me back with details. I did. No response. Called again. No response. Finally got her on the line, and I asked her why she didn't return my call. She accused me of leaving a fairly obscene message on her voice mail. I pleaded with her, told her I didn't do it. Did a fairly good job, I thought. Then I realized....it didn't matter what I said or did, just then. There would be a lingering feeling of anger and fear, and there was nothing I could do to get rid of the aroma.
That's how I feel about this other thing. Whatever I did/didn't do, there's nothing I can do to get rid of those lingering feelings about how what I did is perceived. And, if I'm right and this is so....I dunno.
End of sermon. Enjoy your evening.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
They have a phrase for that.
Date: 2003-03-11 09:51 pm (UTC)The "moronic inferno" line was pretty amusing by the way.
-isaac
Re: They have a phrase for that.
Date: 2003-03-12 06:42 am (UTC)Yeah well. Girls are weird. I've established that, twelve or so years since puberty will do that. I'll just live with it.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-11 09:53 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-03-12 06:56 am (UTC)Mind you...I understand why the person who wrote me this note did so. I just think she took the things that I did totally differently than I mean them. Actually, perhaps we will chat tonite, and I will explain to you what happened, and you can tell me what you think as well. What happened to your stalkerboy last night? I had to sleep. I feel sooooo lame when I go to sleep before 1...I have no stamina. :-P And I was late to work ANYWAY.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-11 10:34 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-03-12 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-12 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-12 04:56 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-03-13 06:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-13 11:03 am (UTC)