(no subject)

I have very few words right now.

So many songs. So near and dear to my heart. SO much music. I wish for a quiet comfortable death in his bed, with Ariel, Jordan, and the twins around him.

It's not fair. Not fair at all. Who chooses? Who is the one who says who lives and who dies? Why do god damned stiff artists live to be 80, 90, and one of the few who I care about, the few who I clutch close to my heart when things go to pot, and he's dying. He's going away.

The Inside/Out documentary on zevon was....hard. It was hard to watch. It was hard to watch him recede, to watch his life start to drain away, slowly, day by day, month by month. But what was wonderful was the love that people have for him, and the love that he radiated. He doesn't really give off waves of affections and love when you see him live. But....seeing this was really something. The crinkles in his smile, and the dumb jokes about death and dying.

I taped it.

I'm going to watch it again. Not tonight. But I will.