(no subject)

[lwoodbloo]

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if
your child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous
culture that young teenagers are prone to
participating in. The gothic culture leads young,
susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,
darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate
attention through counselling, prayer, and parental
guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if
five or more of the following are applicable to your
child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or
nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of
these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams,
pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping
symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ,
and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard
any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities,
such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires,
magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that
involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of
self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses
pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This
pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light
is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that
your chid may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while
unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns
and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count chocula cereal is an
example of this. (made me laugh SO hard)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking
blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan.
This act is very dangerous and should be stopped
immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs
that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or
role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes
time for the computer. [we all know that satan dwells
within it]
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to
music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include:
Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca,
Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains
these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe
is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

Comments

[ex-sodiumlig110.livejournal.com]

OMG. YES, I was highly amused by the Count Chocula statement. Beware Of Cereal, kiddies. Beware Of Cereal. The devil might just reach his gnarled hand from the box to the surface to PULL YOU INTO THE UNDERWORLD. Bwahaha.

[phoenixsong]

Ugh...this sort of thing makes me angry, if only because there are people who will take certain parts of it seriously. (If your child is depressed or suicidal, they must be gothic, pray for a cure? Quiet time alone is bad? What, you can only pray in large, loud groups?)

*kicks things*

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

There's things more useful to be angry about. trust me, darlin', this is the short end. I'm hoping this is just a parody.

[phoenixsong]

Nope, I'm with torontoangel. There are actually fundamentalist/born-again Christian groups out there that put out similar garbage, if not this specific list. They take anything mentioning Satan/devils/anything occult very, very seriously and literally.

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

Is there any way, legally, to arrest these people for stupidity?

[sisterred.livejournal.com]

What. The. Fuck.

Whoever wrote that needs to seek psychiatric help him/herself. They've obviously been receiving input from the wrong appliance in their house.

If you over eat or don't eat enough, you are Goth?

Liking sex makes you Goth?

*head desk*

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

I think it's more "liking sex means you've strayed from the church". But yeah. Just as bad.

[ntang.livejournal.com]

Dude, I am so fucked.

Oh hahahahah

[scriptgirl.livejournal.com]

Apparently I am going to hell (in a hand-basket?)

[ex-fetching.livejournal.com]

Yeah well, Satan's temptations are awesome.

[meritofstars.livejournal.com]

wow... that's... bizarre and fucked up.
masturbating?! that's... you dont deny people that...
jeez.

[eldyn.livejournal.com]

This is the funniest list of closed minded garbage I have ever read. It's like an idiot from the crusades wrote this or something, hahaha.

I mean really, "Expresses an interest in sex"? WTF? Um, didn't god supposedly say "Go forth an mulitly"? Hello, that does involve sex. And why the hell would it be so much fun if you weren't ment to have lots and lots of it? Ha? Answer me that, lol.

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

I know it says in the Talmud that it's a husband's DUTY to please his wife, and vice versa.

The hypocrisy that is organized religion is endlessly amusign.

[kittenhasclaws.livejournal.com]

Wow, my self-mutilation is a Satanic ritual. I guess I'm goth now. Go me.

[violetshade.livejournal.com]

As you may have heard by now, Jesus as described in the Gospels fits about half of these.

[merina888.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, where did you find this? You don't site a source. I'm an RC and that's the first I've ever heard of such things. Sounds more like Fundamentalist mumbo-jumbo to me.

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

As I said earlier in the comments, I'm fairly sure this is a parody. I posted it, not as fact, but for humor value. My mom thought it was funny.

[torontoangel.livejournal.com]

You know- they wrote some of the same crap when Harry Potter came out...

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

it'as probably justa parody.

[torontoangel.livejournal.com]

I dunno - I've seen stuff like this before - for a paper I wrote in college about the occult and tv. I don't think it's a parody, to be honest.

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

Then I'm truly frightened

[torontoangel.livejournal.com]

As well you should be! :-)

[kittenhasclaws.livejournal.com]

It may be a parody, but I swear I found serious religious pamphlets in a local restaurant and in a couple of waiting rooms at places around here saying very similar, and sometimes even more frightening things.