Insecurities

[lwoodbloo]

We had a meeting at work today about the next couple of months. We're going to get recertified for ISO 9000 in July, I think. My boss was talking about it today, and she related that I'd be the point man with some of the external auditors. I know my stuff really well, and I worked with not only our internal auditors here, but I also did the external audit last time and worked with our staff people too.

I don't like that she's talking about it. At all. Why? Because I'm not comfortable with it. I want, desperately, to blend in and to be average. I want to be just like everyone else for ONCE in my life. And that conflicts with my internal craving for approval and excelling at things, and leaves me feeling conflicted.

I don't know why I feel like this.

Comments

Life is hard

[ladyjendifi.livejournal.com]

You might think you want to be an average Joe, but you really don't. Trust me on this one. Even though the smart, personable, capable guys get stuck with more work, getting not stuck with the work would make you feel worse. I know this disease because I've got it myself.

smootches!

[meritofstars.livejournal.com]

*hugs* i'm sorry to hear that things arent going the best, but i'm sure they will make an upward turn soon. at least you can look forward to seeing me in august.

[listenshesings.livejournal.com]

"you have so many extraordinary gifts, how can you expect to lead an ordinary life?"

<3

[lwoodbloo.livejournal.com]

I don't feel extraordinary.

[listenshesings.livejournal.com]

you're not supposed to.

[sattruckguy.livejournal.com]

you have always been a contradiction in motion my friend. On one hand, a desire to be the best you can be. On the other, the desire not to stand out, which stems from your own insecurities. Yet these two are as contradictory as can be. You are a great person lwood. I've been proud to count you as one of my best friends. You are one of the smartest people i know, and you have this incredible desire to make people's lives better. You are a good person Matt. There endeth my rambling.