lwoodbloo | I heard woodrow wilson's guns, I heard maria crying.....

Ah. I do love mr zevon. He has a way of bringing you in.

I got to talk to my friend jen on the phone today. She's really cool. Hard to descrive. But I do not feel crazy or weird or anything out of the ordinary around her. Which is really different from most people. I seem to lose a lot of people when I'm in a conversation...let's just say that my train of thought turns on a dime and leaves you change sometimes. And she comes with me on my mind trips.

Is it okay to feel a lot, or even lust for, more than one person at a time? Is it dishonest of me? I lust after different people I know for different reasons. But sometimes I feel so guilty and awful because I have split my loyalties somewhat. But then, no one has exactly committed to me either. So I guess there's no reason for me to feel guilt. Ah. I think I've reached an epiphany. There's no reason I can't feel something for more than one person. ah. Much better. Existential dilemma for the evening, SOLVED.

I'm done. Hey. I got a poem.

Dead pigeons
Outside my window
Half gone to dust
were they here
to escort
someone's damned soul?
Emissaries from hades
stranded on my windowsill
never to rise again
Into warm air
No dignity
No processional
or overflight
of stately white doves
Just slow mortification'
And decay
To base elements
At least they're joined
Together in death as in life.